The invisible part of MS

I am fortunate that all my symptoms (for now) are invisible. To look at me you wouldn’t know there was anything ‘wrong’ with me. But this brings its own issues. Sometimes I overshare. Other times I totally omit it and have known people for years before they find out. I find labels horrible. One of my biggest fears is that I become the ‘sick girl’. To protect myself, I can’t be friends with you if you look at differently when you know. Harsh? Perhaps. But I don’t need to spend my time always proving that I am ok. I say when it is too much. And I’m getting better at asking for help 😉 Spending energy persuading people to accept it when I say I’m ok seems a bit counter-productive. My ‘ok’ my be different to your ok, but when living with 2 chronic illnesses every minute of every day and night, then I’m a better judge of how I am doing. I don’t mean this to be a rant. It has been a sore point for me in the past. I merely mean that we as people with MS should be given the same respect as any one else. Sympathy and empathy is lovely, but patronisation is not. There is a difference. I mean this in the nicest possible way. Consider this more as advice. If asking someone if they are ok, accept their answer even if you doubt it. You could instead ask if there is anything you can help with, or ask what they have been doing the last few days – normal conversations. (Note: I can never remember what I have been doing the last few days. My short term memory is getting worse and instead I stand there looking like an idiot. But I’m just to that! It’s still nice to be asked). So after all this, how am I?! Fine thanks. Bit too busy sometimes but doing things I’m enjoying. My boys and I took the afternoon off before the football training season starts. We were so busy over Christmas and really needed just to stop and do nothing. And that’s what we did. After taking some time to pause I let everything catch up with me, and I slept for half an hour (my son took a photo because he knew I was writing about it). Every now and again, I do need to have a quick rest. That is the reality. It enables me to continue fighting and flourishing the rest of the days.